It’s not uncommon to go on a few dates with a guy just to realize he would be an awesome friend, but not what you are looking for romantically. This is never an easy conversation, but with a little class and style you can successfully turn the relationship around in to a friendship without creating any hard feelings. Or maybe you are simply interested in casual sex, if this is the case then you should maybe consider picking up people from a swingers site, the people there will be used to0 one night stands for sex and will not take any offence at you not wanting to see them again.
Tell Him What You Want
Be very clear about what you are looking for in a guy. You never know, if something is important enough to you he may be willing to try to change. Don’t assume that because he works as a janitor that he doesn’t have higher aspirations. If this is important to you, talk to him before you decide to toss aside what may be a good relationship.
Slowly Back Off
Instead of hanging out every night, back off a little bit. If you continue to go out constantly, this is just going to make things harder when you do decide to pull back. It also gives him space to evaluate things on his own.
Don’t do this over the phone or via text message. Also don’t premise it with the dreaded ‘we need to talk’ line. This will make him put of a defensive wall immediately. Instead, go out for a casual meal and be honest with him. Tell him you think you are in different places, and right now you just don’t feel this is going where it needs to go. Then tell him how much you enjoy spending time with him, and that you don’t want to lose him from your life.
Give Him Space
After the conversation you need to be prepared to give him space. He may be hurt and may not want to talk to you for a long time. This is the risk you run when you decide to just be friends. Allow him to approach you when he’s ready.